At the end of January 2007 I came from China to the US with my then-wife and our kid. Soon, my then-wife started assassinating my character, including blogging, sending emails to and/or calling her friends and relatives in China, Canada and Canada, including some of my colleagues in China. One of the recipients is her male friend since not later than her high school, and this guy had been working since 2003 at a legal aid organization Western Canada Society to Access Justice (“Access Justice”) in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, which merged with Pro Bono Law of British Columbia to form The Access Pro Bono Society of British Columbia. This guy used to be Acting Executive Director of Access Justice, and he often presented to communities about Domestic Violence and Financial issues.
In early June 2007, my then-wife made international phone calls to my father, my brother and my nephew (all of them in China), threatening them to remit money to her own individual bank account in China, otherwise she would get me arrested and deported and ruined career and my life, as she threatened me several times before. She even demanded my nephew to record her bank account number, and my nephew recorded the phone conversations.
Later my then-wife threatened me of being beaten up by her friend in the US. On some August 2007 evening, she threatened me again of being beaten up by her friend. I asked her to call and ask her friend to come, according to Chinese Culture under such circumstance. She then dialed 911 claimed that I hit her. The police arrived soon, and I answered the door for them and I immediately asked for someone who could speak Chinese (Mandarin). However, the police refused me of any Language Service Access, but provide an interpreter for my then-wife who was showing off how good her Spoken English was at that time. In her false police report, she claimed that I hit her, but even the police clearly stated there is NO evidence supporting her accusation, and the police also stated clearly that both my kid and I were calm but my then-wife was angry. So mutual Emergency Protection Orders were issued which would expired on that following Friday.
On that Friday, my then-wife filed a Complaint of Separation with family law court, seeking spousal support. She filed at the same time for a Temporary Restraining Order (“TRO”) against me by false affidavit such as accusing me of filing a non-existing police report, claiming that I received that Emergency Protection Order against her due to I was telling the police that she hit me (of course I did not nor could I due to my English capacity at that time), claiming that the kid was scared to death when the kid was living with her only (during the EPO period), and falsely accusing my father and my brother. The TRO prohibited me from contact her or my kid no matter in direct or indirect manners, and I was also prohibited from phone calling her. However, she then called me several time before the scheduled hearing for the TRO, requesting me to return home immediately for the sake of the kid. Of course I did not do that. She then called me again, claiming that she already dropped the case, trying to stop me from filing my response to her complaints.
I filed my response to TPO and served her, providing convincing evidences that EVERY ACCUSATION AGAINST ME or my father or my brother IS FALSE and that SHE IS the real PERPETRATOR. Just forgot to mention that in her sworn statement filed to the court, she admitted that on the above Sunday evening she threatened me of being beaten up (but she did not told the police that night) and she also confessed that she used to threw stuff at me when she was angry. I should also pointed out that she did cost my job at that time and hence I lost income. As I know, she sent several emails, complaining me to my then-boss. On the day before the scheduled hearing date, she dropped the case. Due to some visa issues, I could not file counterclaim at that time. Soon I found another position, and she and my kid moved with me to another city.
Since 2007, my then-wife never deposited even any penny of her income into the joint bank account I opened when we arrived in the US. She also refused to contribute to family budget even when she knew that I could not meet the balance. In October 2010, after I received my auto insurance renewal notice along with increased vehicle number on my policy, I contacted and learned from my auto insurance agent, that my then-wife added her vehicle onto my policy. Later the kid told me that my then-wife does not want me to know that she obtained a vehicle. In early November 2010, at one school night when I came back home later from out-of-town meeting, my-then wife arrived home with the kid after 11:30pm. The kid got sick that following day, and I took time off from work several days staying home to take care of the kid since my then-wife refused to take care of the kid. However, later we found out that she made up stories in her diaries that she claimed that she, on the day I stayed home with the kid who did attend school due to fever, took the kid to some party at night and the kid then got sick. In her diaries, she also made up stories by saying that she tried to send the kid to school the morning after the party and accused me of threatening to pick up the kid immediately from school if she did send the kid to school.
I decided to file for divorce considering the above and that my then-wife refused to fulfill her commitment of picking up the kid from latchkey in the afternoon (I sent the kid to school in the morning) but never notified me that she would not pick up the kid when she did not want to, except that she once called me about 5 minutes prior to the pick-up deadline requesting me, who was working 10 miles away from the kid’s school, to pick up the kid.
I flied in the end of November 2010. I also filed a restraining order and the court granted it which prohibits my soon-to-be-ex from threatening, body-harming, annoying me at home or my workplace or elsewhere, and disposing of assets, etc. However, I later heard that she was frequently assassinating my character again including attacking me publicly at churches. After the Guardian ad Litem was appointed, my soon-to-be-ex accelerated her coaching the kid to hate me. As revealed later by her own diaries, she started parental alienation since 2008 (she claimed her diaries prior to that had been destroyed). In or about January 2011, after my soon-to-be-ex told the kid about the case, the kid at the begging asked me whether my soon-to-be-ex would be allowed to visit her after the divorce–you know I has always been the primary care provider for the kid. During the case, she not only separated the kid from me by demanding the kid to move from kid’s bedroom to my soon-to-be-ex’s (I moved out of the main bedroom to living room for the sake of my safe), she also convinced the kid not let me to touch the kid’s homework and other school stuff, and the kid also refused me of sending the kid to school or to dancing class or to Chinese school. In or about early March 2011, the kid asked me whether I would be OK if the kid lives with my soon-to-be-ex after the divorce. In or about April 2011, the kid told me that the kid hates me because my soon-to-be-ex said she loves me so much but I do not love her at all. The kid also begged me to lose the case since I love the kid so much. During the Guardian ad Litem’s interview with the kid with my presence, the kid told the Guardian ad Litem that the kid preferred my soon-to-be-ex to pick up the kid from latchkey after school when the Guardian ad Litem asked who picked the kid up from school and after the kid said my soon-to-be-ex and I both picked up the kid and it depended on my soon-to-be-ex’s schedule. The Guardian ad Litem asked the kid the reason of the preference, the kid said my vehicle is smelly. The Guardian then asked the kid whether my soon-to-be-ex and/or I pick up the kid by vehicle, the kid answered “no”. Sure, we just live across street to the kid’s school. Fortunately, I reminded the Guardian ad Litem before the interview with the kid that the kid once asked me whether she could talk to the Guardian ad Litem without my presence even though I would be supposed to be present during that interview.
During the case my soon-to-be-ex obtained lots of divorce books on Child Custody battles, such as “Parent vs Parent”, “Divorce Dirty Tricks”, and also “Be a Great Step-Parent”. She set up those books on the bookcase at the main bedroom, and the kid’s book were inserted between those divorce books. Additionally, after the Guardian ad Litem, upon receiving my complaint, sent to each parties and related counsel a warning email about the kid was asked to be a courier between my soon-to-be-ex and me, pointing out that the Guardian ad Litem would deem that as Child Abuse if it continued, my soon-to-be-ex’s counsel, in later April 2011, visited our apartment asking the kid to deliver the documents from me upon my soon-to-be-ex’s discovery request.
After the Guardian ad Litem provided preliminary fidings, my soon-to-be-ex’s counsel responded saying that there is no evidence of my involvement in the kid’s school. The Guardian ad Litem knew it’s always been my signature on every school forms, it’s me who attended parent-teacher conference, it’s me who chaperoned the kid’s classes to field trip, and it’s me who helped the kid with homework.
It was finally determined by the Guardian ad Litem that the kid was coached by my soon-to-be-ex.
My soon-to-be-ex however refuses to pay any child support, and she also refuses to pay any shared cost of extracurricular activities of the kid’s although my soon-to-be-ex agreed that both parties should split the cost of those agreed extracurricular activities and she also did agreed that the kid should continue undergoing extracurricular activities.
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